Saturday, January 10, 2009
Waiting
Why is it that life seems to be unbearably dull when you're waiting to go abroad? I've only been home for 20 or so days, but it feels like I've been in the depths of hell for an eternity. I'm trying to have fun, but everything seems mediocre when I have mountains, glaciers, and sandy beaches in my future. I can't help but think that everything I do here would be 10 times better in New Zealand. For example, let's say we all have an internal rating scale of 'excitement' (clearly this scale is valid and reliable and in no way subjective). The scale goes from 0 (Shit, that sounds terrible, I'd rather shit myself) to 10 (echo tap). Now for the experiment. So your friend from home calls you up and says, "Hey man, you want to go on a buzz cruise?" So you think to yourself, 'eh, that sounds alright, I know I'll laugh a bunch even though he only has the snikle frits, but I'll probably be paranoid and it sounds a lot like a high school...I'll give it a 5' Now, you're in the #1 country that you want to visit (let's say it's NZ). So you're Kiwi host calls you up and says, "Hey man, you want to go on a buzz cruise?" You laugh because he has a funny accent and then reflect on what this entails...'aside from laughing my ass off because my friend just got the bees knees, the purple nurple, and the west coast giggle shits ground together and roled into a 10 gram blunt, I'm going to be rolling along the coast of NZ seeing wildlife that doesn't exist anywhere else in the world, pretending to shoot down any pakeha (foreigners) trying to take invade the 'land of the long white cloud', and will probably finish it off with a visit to the shire where Samwise and I will start our great adventure...that gets a ten'. So in conclusion, waiting to leave falls somewhere between getting Mono in Green Bay and getting malaria in a corrupt west African nation. From now until February 17th everything I do will be lower than normal on my excitement scale because all I can think about is what awaits me this spring semester.
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"the bees knees, the purple nurple, and the west coast giggle shits ground together and rolled into a 10 gram blunt"
ReplyDeleteDan Lamanna is a psychology major.
Dearest Dan,
ReplyDeleteDo not fret, dear friend, for you are not alone. I wish I was in New Zealand right now too.
Dan,
ReplyDeleteNow I'm feeling kind of bad about misleading you, but NOBODY SMOKES IN NEW ZEALAND. They're way into cardio/lung health, and besides, Marijuana doesn't grow in the highly acidic soils of Aoteora. (The endemic species have adapted.) Plus it is pretty set apart from places that do grow, so smuggling is nigh impossible. Sorry buddy. Better unpack the hookah and throw in some more books.
I miss you Danny.
T-bone...I didn't mean to mislead anyone to think that all I want to do in NZ is smoke (I was just using it as an example for my 'excitement' scale, in fact, I would be happy if what you just said was true, but sadly, the west coast of the south island is in fact a prime location for the growing of marijuana (one of the few things that does grow there because of the heavy rain)...I'm pretty sure you knew that, but sarcasm is hard to pick up on via blogs
ReplyDeletemiss you too buddy
Hahah danny...
ReplyDeleteOf course I knew you care about more than weed, and of course I knew weed is grown there. I smoked for the first time on top of a volcano overlooking the flashing city lights of auckland.
Love
HI DAN. i'm stuck at home currently too. I'm sorry for your woes. I'll miss you in madison, and i'm sorry i didn't get to say goodbye. My mom was watching opera and it was about a woman who's son died whilst studying abroad in australia and it made me think of you, but that kid had a twin so it probably wasn't too hard for the parents to deal with, considering his genetic equal stayed in the states.
ReplyDeleteAnyways, considering you don't have a twin and i didn't say goodbye, please don't die.
opera = oprah
ReplyDelete